


It's all fun and games

by Mialienes



Category: Super Junior, Super Junior-M
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-30
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-10 11:38:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1159262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mialienes/pseuds/Mialienes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zhou Mi is tall, stupid and breaks things. </p><p>Kyuhyun is a jerky jerkface with the worst customer service skills in the world.</p><p>Also, Zhou Mi seems to really like sparkly things, and Kyuhyun… well, Kyuhyun seems to enjoy paying people to embarrass Zhou Mi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's all fun and games

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  _Because Zhou Mi is special._   
> 

For once in his life, Kyuhyun is speechless.

He stares at the laptop that Zhou Mi has just handed him, mouth slightly open at the sight in front of him. He looks up at Zhou Mi and then back down at the laptop incredulously. 

"I see your problem," he finally manages to sputter. "A 12 year old girl sticker vomited over your laptop." Actually, 12 year old girl is being generous as the lid of the computer is covered in bright, colourful cartoon stickers: dinosaurs, smiley faces, cars, hearts, and stars. It's more like a 6 year old was let loose on it.

Zhou Mi gives him his most innocent smile. "No, it's not turning on. See?" He opens the lid and presses the on button. Nothing happens. 

Kyuhyun swallows a sigh. Some days (most days) he really hates his job in tech support. "Okay, I'll take a look." He grudgingly scribbles a job number on a receipt and and pushes it across his desk. When Zhou Mi doesn't move, Kyuhyun raises an eyebrow. "You can go?"

"Ummm. Do you have a computer I can use in the meantime? I can't really do any work without one."

Kyuhyun pushes himself out of his chair with a glare. "I have just the thing for you." 

He heads into the back room where they store old tech equipment. After a couple of minutes digging, sending dust bunnies flying into the air, he manages to unearth a chunky typewriter. It's been sitting in that room since Kyuhyun started at the company, and, judging by the look of it, probably since before he was born. "Let's see him break this," he mutters to himself.

Sungmin spins his chair as Kyuhyun walks past his desk. "Where are you going with that?" he asks. "Does that thing even work anymore?" 

"It's a typewriter, of course it works. And I'm lending it to that imbecile from Research," Kyuhyun tells him a little breathlessly. Either the typewriter is ridiculously heavy or he needs to work out more. 

He sets it down carefully on his desk in front of Zhou Mi. "Here you go. I'll call you when I fix your laptop."

"Umm." 

"You can go now." Kyuhyun does a little shooing motion when Zhou Mi doesn't move. 

Zhou Mi's face scrunches up in confusion. "That's not a computer?"

"Correct Einstein, it's not. I'm not giving you another one - you've broken five since you started working here." 

"Really?" says Zhou Mi disbelievingly. "Surely it hasn't been that many…"

Kyuhyun can't help his voice from rising in volume. Zhou Mi always has this effect on him. "YES IT HAS BEEN THAT MANY." He pulls out his log book and flips through the pages, stabbing his finger down whenever he sees Zhou Mi's name. "FIVE. FIVE LAPTOPS. And don't get me started on the other things you've broken. Now take it and get out of my sight. Also…" Kyuhyun leans over his desk and pokes Zhou Mi in the chest threateningly. "If you break this, I will find a cliff and throw you over it."

Zhou Mi lifts his chin and looks down at Kyuhyun huffily. "Your customer service skills could really use some work," he says as he struggles to pick up the typewriter before storming out of the room. 

Sungmin leans back, his chair creaking in protest, and applauds Kyuhyun slowly. "Brilliant, Kyu, brilliant. Way to make someone like you."

"I DON'T CARE IF HE DOESN'T LIKE ME. HE IS TALL AND STUPID AND HE BREAKS THINGS." 

Sungmin snorts. "You're just bitter because there's finally someone taller than you in this office."

"Shut up before I throw this laptop at you."

Sungmin stands up to come behind Kyuhyun. He props his chin on Kyuhyun's shoulder and checks out Zhou Mi's laptop. "I see the problem, someone's let a 12 year old girl loose on that thing."

*

Zhou Mi presses angrily on the keys of his typewriter, the letters clacking noisily. He mutters to himself as he types, "He's mean and stupid and a bully!" 

"Mi, what's wrong?" Heechul asks on his way past. "I could hear your grumbling from my desk. And what happened to your computer? You realise we're no longer in the 70s?" 

"That idiot in IT is such a jerky jerkface!" Zhou Mi tells him in frustration. "My laptop broke again and he wouldn't give me a replacement."

"Well that's probably because you've broken like five of them since you started. And you've been here less than a year." 

Zhou Mi huffs. "I'm sure it hasn't been that many." He keeps stabbing angrily at the typewriter. "And it's not my fault they break," he complains as he presses down hard on the E key. It sticks and stops moving. He tries again, jabbing it repeatedly. Nothing happens.

Zhou Mi grabs a pencil and forces it underneath in an attempt to pry it loose. The pencil snaps, a piece of wood ricocheting in Heechul's direction. The key remains stuck. "Uh oh." 

*

When Kyuhyun returns from lunch, Sungmin looks up from the game he's playing. "Your lover boy from Research came back. I think he deliberately waited until you were out."

Kyuhyun groans. "No. What did he want?" Then he smacks Sungmin on the arm. "And he's not my lover boy. The only feelings I have towards him are hate and dislike."

"Yeah, you hate the fact that he can look down on you. And he came by because he broke the typewriter." 

"He what."

"Something about the E key not working, and how can he possibly be expected to write anything without the letter E and oh isn't that Kyuhyun an unhappy grumpy jerk. He probably said more after that but I stopped paying attention. He talks a lot, hey?" 

Kyuhyun scowls. He sits down, intending to pull up Googlemaps so he can search for the location of the nearest cliff. 

Wait a minute. 

Where's his computer?? 

"Also," Sungmin continues, concentrating fiercely on the screen as he shoots down enemy aliens, "I couldn't find any other spare computers so I gave him yours." 

"...."

*

Kyuhyun storms up to Zhou Mi's desk. "I want it back." 

Zhou Mi looks up and blinks at him slowly, tilting his head as he appraises the angry man in front of him. Ignoring Kyuhyun's annoyed sputtering, he picks up his phone and starts up a conversation into the receiver. 

"Stop that, I know you're not on the phone! I saw you pick that up. Gaaaah." Kyuhyun pulls the receiver away from Zhou Mi's ear and slams it back down into the cradle. "I want my computer back."

Zhou Mi leans back and crosses his arms. "No, I need it. Fix mine and you can have yours back."

"NO. I want mine back. You're going to break it, you break everything. You broke the freaking typewriter! That thing has worked for 40 years! And then you come along and..." He gestures angrily. "It breaks!"

"Stop bullying me," Zhou Mi tells him. "I have a right to feel safe and be free from harassment in the workplace." 

A vein starts to throb in Kyuhyun's forehead. "You. Are. Infuriating," he says through gritted teeth. He is fuming. Zhou Mi makes him so angry he wants to stab things. He notices a cup holding pens sitting on Zhou Mi's desk and he picks it up, makes eye contact, and slowly upturns it. The pens fall and scatter. It's extremely childish but satisfaction blooms at seeing Zhou Mi's lips press into a tight line. He's annoyed. GOOD. 

As Kyuhyun stalks off, he feels a pen bounce off the back of his head. "Very mature!" he yells over his shoulder.

"Ditto!"

*

"Minnie, please. Please, please, please. I'll be your best friend forever and ever." Kyuhyun is crouching by Sungmin's chair, pulling on his arm. He gives him his best puppy dog look.

Sungmin shakes his head. "First, Kyu, I don't WANT you for a best friend. And second, stop being such a child and just call him. I'm not dealing with Zhou Mi for you. And stop trying to be cute, it's really disturbing." 

"But he's annoooooying," Kyuhyun whines as he stands up, giving up on the cutesy act. 

"Did you ever consider that perhaps you're the annoying one? Maybe if you treated him better he wouldn't rile you up so much?" 

Kyuhyun doesn't even take time to think about it. "Nope, he's annoying." Deciding that he may as well suck it up, he picks up the phone and dials Zhou Mi's extension. "Your computer is ready," he spits out, hanging up without waiting for a response. 

"Well that was very mature." 

"Shut up."

Before too long Zhou Mi is hovering over Kyuhyun's desk. 

"I assume it was you who called." 

Kyuhyun shoves Zhou Mi's computer at him. "Here, it works now. I want mine back."

Zhou Mi removes his laptop and slides Kyuhyun's one on to the desk without saying a word, but the corner of his mouth is tilted up into a little smirk. 

"Oh my god." Kyuhyun can't believe what he's seeing. "You…" he chokes a little. "...bedazzled my laptop?" In the day - the SINGLE day - since Zhou Mi had it, he's managed to cover Kyuhyun's computer with sparkling pink and purple crystals. They're stuck on in an intricate spiralling design across the entire lid. 

Zhou Mi gives him an innocent, wide eyed smile that Kyuhyun knows is a complete lie because he's actually a devious, awful, terrible, evil man. "I made it pretty for you. Thanks for fixing mine!" Laughing to himself, he flounces out. 

*

Kyuhyun can't help himself from cackling as he types. Sungmin leans over to see what he's doing. 

"What are you doing now? Nice crystals, by the way. Your computer is looking very… pretty." 

"I'm not doing anything," Kyuhyun denies. 

Sungmin narrows his eyes as he reads the text on Kyuhyun's screen. "Are you changing Zhou Mi's email signature?" 

Kyuhyun stifles a laugh. "Would I do something like that?"

*

Zhou Mi is in the midst of writing a report when his phone rings. He picks it up, tucking the phone in between his ear and his shoulder, and croaks out a distracted greeting. 

"Mimi," Heechul drawls. "I never knew you felt that way about me."

"What?" 

"You sent me hugs and kisses in your email."

"What are you talking about?" Zhou Mi is beyond confused now. Is Heechul playing a joke on him? He does have an odd sense of humour. 

"Check the email you just sent me."

Zhou Mi clicks into his email client and goes into his sent items, bringing up the one he sent Heechul. 

"What? How did this..??" He starts clicking through other emails he's sent that day. They're all signed "Do Mi xoxo". 

"Oh my god." 

Heechul laughs and makes kissy sounds at him through the phone. 

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING." Zhou Mi has sent numerous emails today - to his colleagues, to his boss, Siwon, even to external clients, and they're all signed off with hugs and kisses. "How did this happen?" he asks, mostly to himself. And then it hits him: "CHO KYUHYUN." 

*

"Min, I'll see you tomorrow," Kyuhyun says as he packs up for the day, making sure that he takes his umbrella from the corner. It's been raining heavily all week. 

As he steps away from the shelter of the building, he opens up his umbrella above his head. 

A shower of fine glitter and confetti is released, the bulk of which lands in his hair. 

"WHAT THE HELL." 

*

The next day as Kyuhyun enters the elevator he bumps into Zhou Mi. Zhou Mi looks him up and down and grins. 

"You're sparkling." Zhou Mi runs a finger down Kyuhyun's cheek and inspects the shine that's been transferred to his skin. "How pretty." 

Despite scrubbing himself in the shower until he was beet red, Kyuhyun still hasn't managed to completely remove all the glitter from his hair and skin. 

"I know this is your work," Kyuhyun tells him. "And you will pay for this." When the doors open he stalks out haughtily. Well, as haughtily as possible when you're glittering like a Twilight vampire. 

*

When Kyuhyun tells Sungmin what's he done as revenge, Sungmin almost rolls off his chair with laughter. "Is it even his birthday?" 

"That's the best part," Kyuhyun replies, eyes slightly damp from tears of laughter. "It's not!" 

*

"Hi!"

Zhou Mi looks up to find a rather handsome man standing in front of his desk. He's tall, broad shouldered, and smiling down at Zhou Mi brightly. One hand is clutching a bunch of colourful balloons that float above his head.

"Happy birthday!" the stranger chirps.

"Ummm." Zhou Mi looks around. "It's not my birthday? You might have the wrong person?"

The man furrows his forehead and pulls out a card from the pocket of his trench coat. "You're Zhou Mi, right?"

"Uhh yes."

"Then I have the right person!" He thrusts the bunch of balloons into Zhou Mi's hand and then pulls a small music player and speaker from his coat pocket which he places on to Zhou Mi's desk. The stranger presses a couple of buttons and a song, strong in bass with a strong beat, starts to play. The man swivels his hips in time to the beat and unbuttons his coat, sliding it off his shoulders. Zhou Mi is suddenly faced with an expanse of bare skin and toned abs - the man isn't wearing anything under the coat except for a pair of tight, tight jeans. 

Zhou Mi gulps, throat suddenly dry. "What… what are you doing?!" 

"Happy birthday, sexy," the stripper says huskily as he moves to unbutton his jeans. "I have a present for you."

Everyone in the office is staring, mouths agape, as the man wriggles out of his jeans in time to the music. There's a catcall from the other side of the office that sounds suspiciously like Heechul. "Take it off! Whoohoo!" 

The stripper hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers, swaying his hips seductively. Before he can pull them down, Siwon comes rushing out from his office. 

"Okay, that's enough. It's time for you to go now," Siwon says, turning off the music and throwing the coat over the man's shoulders. He pushes the stripper away from Zhou Mi's desk, steering him towards the door. The stripper leaves quietly, but not before winking and blowing Zhou Mi a kiss over his shoulder.

The balloons float up to the ceiling as Zhou Mi's head meets his desk.

*

Siwon has called Zhou Mi into his office to discuss the stripper incident. Zhou Mi isn't sure who is more embarrassed - himself or Siwon. 

Siwon fidgets uneasily behind his desk. "Firstly, happy birthday Zhou Mi." Zhou Mi starts to protest that it's not his birthday but Siwon interrupts before he can clarify. 

"I know we're very lenient in this company, but I do need to tell you that a… umm…" Siwon's voice lowers to a whisper even though they're the only ones in the room. " ...stripper... isn't appropriate. Whatever you do in your own time is fine, of course, but ahhh let's keep it to your personal life, okay?" 

Being scolded by Siwon, who Zhou Mi highly respects even though he's the most straight laced person he knows, is like being told off by his father. It sends a wave of shame down Zhou Mi's spine even though he hasn't done anything wrong. 

"Sorry Siwon," he finds himself apologising, head bowed. "It won't happen again."

It won't, because he's going to nail Kyuhyun to the wall and leave him there to rot. 

*

Zhou Mi waits by the photocopier as it spits out paper, humming a little song to himself. It took several days but his shame, and the teasing from his colleagues, has died down from the stripper incident. He's in a very good mood.

"What are you doing, Mi?" Heechul asks, coffee in hand. He takes a sip and nudges Zhou Mi over a little so he can have a look at the increasing pile of copies. "Is that Kyuhyun?" He picks up a sheet and inspects it. It's an "Employee of the Month" poster with a large photo of Kyuhyun. 

"He's going to hate you," Heechul tells him conversationally. "Where did you even get this photo?" 

It's an old, incredibly unattractive shot of Kyuhyun, possibly from when he was in high school. In the photo, Kyuhyun looks drowsy eyed and half asleep, and he has the worst haircut that ever existed - fluffy and mushroom like at the front, but long at the back. 

"I have my ways," Zhou Mi trills happily. "Do you want to help me stick them up?" 

*

Kyuhyun comes storming up to Zhou Mi's desk, sheets of paper crumpled in his hand. 

"I know this was you! You… you… asshole! How did you even get this photo?"

"Hello Kyuhyun, how can I help you?" Zhou Mi asks him serenely. "What's that you have?" He leans forward and pulls a piece of paper from Kyuhyun's hand, smoothing it out on his desk. "Wow, congratulations! Employee of the month, huh? It must be due to your impeccable work ethic and excellent customer service. Oh and look - even the poster sparkles. What attention to detail. " Zhou Mi had let loose with glitter and glue before pasting the posters up everywhere. He's pretty sure that Kyuhyun hasn't found all of them yet - he'd made a lot of copies. 

Kyuhyun wipes his cheek with the back of his hand, paranoid that he's still has glitter on his skin, even though it's been weeks. Glitter doesn't seem to disappear - ever. "You're dead," Kyuhyun threatens. 

"It's a pleasure to talk to you, as always. Bye bye." Zhou Mi gives him a little finger wave and then scrunches the poster into a tight ball, throwing it at Kyuhyun and laughing as it bounces off his forehead.

*

This is beyond pranks now. This is _personal_. 

*

There's silence in Siwon's office as he looks at Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun reproachfully. He's pulled them both into his office for a serious discussion. 

"So I hear you two are involved in some kind of prank war."

Neither of them speak as they do their best to ignore each other.

Siwon heaves a sigh of disappointment as he wrings his hands, eyebrows drawn together. "I don't want to make this a big thing, but it has to stop, okay?"

Kyuhyun scowls down at his lap. Sitting next to him, Zhou Mi stares out the window and frowns. 

"Kyuhyun? Zhou Mi?"

"Yes, Boss," they chorus together, before turning to give one another a look of surprise. They hastily turn away and go back to pretending the other person doesn't exist.

"I want you to apologise to one another for everything you've done." When neither Kyuhyun nor Zhou Mi respond, Siwon slams his hands down on his desk. They jump a little in shock - Siwon is normally calm mannered and very patient. "Kyuhyun!" he barks. "You start."

Kyuhyun half turns his body so he can look at Zhou Mi. "Sorry for making you work on a typewriter," he says grudgingly.

"Sorry for bedazzling your laptop," Zhou Mi replies, just as grudgingly.

"Sorry for changing your email signature to send out hugs and kisses."

"Sorry for covering you in glitter and making you sparkle."

"Sorry for getting you a stripper for your non-birthday."

"Sorry for plastering your ugly high school photo all over the office. And on various lamp posts around the City."

"Sorry for salting your tea. Six times." He does a quick count on his hands. "Actually, seven. Sorry."

"Sorry for filling your sandwiches with scotch bonnet chili peppers. Sorry that you had to go to hospital because your throat started to close up."

"Sorry that you thought you were dying when I added stuff to your coffee that made you pee red."

"Sorry for breaking into your apartment and putting purple hair dye in your shampoo. And sticking sequins on all your shoes." 

"Sorry for having your scooter carried to the roof. Sorry that you had to hire a crane to get it back down."

"Sorry for temporarily stealing your car and having it painted neon pink. And for filling it with packing peanuts."

"Sorry for signing you up for My Little Pony porn. And for paying a brony to pretend to be your boyfriend."

"Sorr-" Zhou Mi starts to say and then stops. "Brony? Boyfriend? What?"

Kyuhyun bites his lip and tries not to laugh. "Well, let's just say your next family gathering might be interesting." Then he says seriously, "Actually, you know what? This has gotten a bit out of hand. I was frustrated that you kept breaking things and making me do work, but it's not your fault you're clumsy and a killer of electronic equipment. Have you ever considered living in a cave away from technology?"

Zhou Mi gives him a calm smile. "I'm sorry too. I was frustrated because most people really like me, so it hurt that you were always so cranky. But it's not your fault that you're stuck in the wrong profession and it makes you hate your life. Have you ever thought of doing something where you don't have to deal with people? It's not your strong point." 

Kyuhyun nods and returns his smile. "Thank you for the feedback. Truce?" 

Zhou Mi takes Kyuhyun's outstretched hand and gives it a firm shake. "Truce."

"Ummm…" Siwon says hesitantly. Did they just make up? Siwon isn't really sure but, being the person he is, decides to give them the benefit of the doubt. "I'm glad you're both acting like adults. I'm really proud of you. I'd like to see you both working together from now on."

"Yes, Boss," they chorus in unison again. There's a small giggle from Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun coughs to hide his laughter. Siwon can feel a headache coming on. He ushers them out. 

As they leave Siwon's office, Zhou Mi nudges Kyuhyun. "Some of your pranks were quite inspired. If I hadn't been on the end of them, I would've found them hilarious. And…" They round the corner, their footsteps falling in sync. "You know how Siwon said we should work together...?" .

Kyuhyun nods slowly. He knows exactly what Zhou Mi is getting at, because he has always known that Zhou Mi is an evil devious man underneath his sunshine exterior. Kyuhyun grins, bright enough to light up the entire building. "We could wreak havoc…."

*

A couple of weeks later, Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi are in the staff room, eating lunch. They've fallen into the habit of taking the same hour for their lunch break. Heechul is on the opposite side of their table, engrossed in his tablet, and a few of their other colleagues are scattered around the room. 

Zhou Mi pulls out his lunch and Kyuhyun leans into him with interest. "What have you got today?" Kyuhyun asks as he takes his own lunch from his bag. He places a wrapped cookie in front of Zhou Mi and waits. 

Zhou Mi sets his food on the table neatly before unwrapping a sandwich. "I have BLT today. You eat bacon, right?" He passes half of it over to Kyuhyun. 

"You didn't lace it with chili this time, did you?" Kyuhyun inspects it for a moment before taking a tentative bite.

"Just a little bit of sriracha in the mayo for flavour. No hospital visit today!" 

Sungmin walks into the kitchen, water bottle in hand as he makes his way to the tap. When he sees Kyuhyun and Zhou Mi sitting together, he stops in front of them and eyes them suspiciously. "What is… this?" he asks, waving his hand in a circular motion to encompass the two of them. "Aren't you two meant to be mortal enemies?"

"We came to an understanding," Zhou Mi pipes up. Kyuhyun nods in agreement, too busy chewing to talk. 

"Oh god, the apocalypse is coming," Sungmin says. "Tall and Taller have joined forces." 

"You mean Dumb and Dumber," Heechul corrects dryly, shaking his head.

Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun exchange a look. "Heechul?" Zhou Mi mouths. 

Heechul doesn't even look up. "Play a prank on me and I won't hesitate to gut you both." 

Zhou Mi and Kyuhyun exchange another look. 'Sungmin," Kyuhyun says in a whisper into Zhou Mi's ear. 

Zhou Mi thinks for a moment and then nods. "Sungmin." 

Heechul rolls his eyes at the idiots giggling across the table from him. "Dumb and Dumber are on the loose. Lord help us all."


End file.
